being in a divorce

How to Deal With Your Angry Spouse During a Divorce

When you or your spouse files for a divorce, it’s very common for emotions to get heated–maybe even more so than the weeks or months leading to that point. However, there are times when one spouse is level and rational while the other is angry and uncooperative.   If you are the first spouse in this situation, here are several tips on how you can deal with an enraged future ex-spouse:

1. Speak with your attorney

Before you even break the news to your spouse, one of the best first steps you can take is to find a divorce lawyer or solicitor in London, for example. These professionals are experienced in handling divorces and will usually have useful advice for you, no matter what the circumstances are. They can give you guidance on how to let your spouse know about your intent to divorce them, as well as other steps you have to take to avoid your spouse from retaliating on you or your assets.

2. Avoid adding fuel to the fire

Anger is a normal reaction to a divorce, but letting it go on throughout the whole proceedings is likely going to prolong the process. Hence, as the cooler-headed spouse, it’s important to not make your spouse any angrier than they already are. Avoid petty arguments as much as possible and be as civil as you can when you’re speaking to each other. If they start an argument, walk away. If they shout obscenities at you, do not retaliate. If you feel that you are teetering on the edge of raging on them, spend some time away from the house.

Needless to say, adding fuel to their anger is not something you want to do if you want a smooth divorce. For some divorcing spouses, getting into conflict can lead to restraining orders and even cases of domestic violence.

3. Do not use dirty tactics

Even if you are the less angry spouse, you may still feel resentment or hate towards your significant other. However, that’s not a reason to stoop to using dirty tactics during your divorce. If anything, these dirty tactics can make your future ex-spouse even angrier.

Some examples of dirty divorce tactics include hiding money, faking abuse, refusing to share the children, taking on new debt, and humiliating the other spouse in front of friends or family, among many others.

4. Listen and be empathic

Regardless of who caused the divorce, one should be empathic to a certain extent. Understand your partner’s feelings and why they are reacting that way, then accept that your spouse needs time and understanding while dealing with the grief, anger, and other negative emotions swirling inside them. When neither of you is at each other’s necks, listen to what they have to say and work together so you can make the separation as easy as possible.

If your spouse is understandably angry during a divorce, these are the best ways to deal with them, their emotions, and their actions thereafter. Remember that life will be very different for the both of you after the divorce, and leaving little to no bad blood can significantly improve your situations after you separate.

About the Author


The information provided on this website is intended for general informational purposes only. It should not be construed as legal advice or legal opinion on any specific matter. The content on this blog is based on the knowledge and experience of the authors up to the date of publication, and it may not reflect the most current legal standards, regulations, or interpretations.

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